- Date:
- 4/16/2008
- Time:
- 6:28:20 PM
- Remote User:
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Den of Wolves
The worst travesty in life is to be betrayed and defiled at the hands of those4 with whom you place your trust.
At the innocent age of 10 when most girls are playing with dolls and riding their bikes, was the time in my life that I tried to keep locked in the back of my mind. A futile attempt at peace. But for me inner peace was almost never found. He lock was tight and I threw away the key. Only recently did I ever attempt to open the doors to that horrible box that held my pain a prisoner. This is the final step to my healing process. To place on paper these words and finally let that pain come out. This is my story. Given the opportunity, all human beings are capable of anything. Being full of trust and naive 10 years old I didn’t realize that.
The person I trusted most beyond my parents was my sister, but her strive for popularity within her scholar circles corrupted her to the point that she delivered her own flesh and blood into the Den of Wolves.
I was that lamb for slaughter.
After a full morning of partying with her boy friend and three others; bets, dares, and temptations filled the house. With my brother in the next room watching TV and myself asleep my sister put boys to the test. Truth or Dare was their game. They chose dare. She urged all of them to French kiss me while I slept. Stoned and dazed, they jumped at the chance for the conquest. I awoke with boys tongue in my mouth and one thing led to another.
Of course I fought as hard as a 10 year old could against the strength of 4 teenager boys. But I was no match and my efforts to dissuade my attackers proved fruitless. I was forced to kiss all of them with my sister cheering them on. My brother still oblivious to the impending torment. He remained in his room thought my ordeal my pants were removed and I was held down on the bed one by one each of them had their way with me, child birth was much easier for me to bare than the pain these men afflicted on me. I don’t feel the need to describe in detail the abuse. Many of you already know what forced sex feels like. But I can say for an attack this brutality on such a young child … one can only imagine. Sure many have had it worse, but what hurt more then the pain was the fact that this was all done with my sister never urging them to stop but cheering them on for more. Even coaching them on.
For reasons I’m still not aware of, I have forgiven my sister. Who denies all of this ever happened. Either because she was so stoned she didn’t remember of because that was her way of dealing with it. If denial were a poison my sister definitely would be dead by now.
My parents didn’t know about this until was 16. My fear of persecution kept me from telling. And now after 4 children of my own and a caring husband. One week before this writing was the first time ever that a loving kissed my husband . After five years of marriage, I have finally brought myself out of the dark and gave my whole self to someone, without reservation It was such a wonderful feeling. I never knew a kiss could exude so much love. After all it was the first step to my torment. And the last step to my healing.
Veronica “Lace” King
